Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Wow...

So....
Had a minor breakdown today...

I couldn't remember if I had used shampoo in the shower. I know - really? Shampoo? With everything going on - I break down over shampoo???

I made a decision which bothered me today - I never wimp out. I take tests for insurance licensing. I love taking tests - I love challenges - I love learning new things. Yesterday, I read for half an hour over my lunch. I could not tell you a single thing that I had read in the book today. I am an over achiever - I know that - I accept that. I paid $50 to move my test to November. I could not risk a fail. I hate spending the money on that - but if I fail - it's $110. Can't gamble on my brain right now....

And then tonite - I just started crying to poor Christopher. I can't remember things. It is driving me crazy. He is my rock. I can't imagine life without him...

My Aunt Lisa told me that my Grandmother L'Hote had this surgery - and the surgeon accidentally clipped a nerve and her mouth drooped as a result. Now, that was 30 years ago - and there have been advancements in the surgery without a doubt - but it is a risk. I know - relax - 30 years ago - but it is something that my doctor mentioned. I would rather have a droopy mouth than this memory loss problem - and it will match the boobs - so whatever!

And then, I had dreams about trying to find my dad all night. I usually don't dream about Dad - just Mom. Interesting. I kept hitting closed doors but someone kept calling - he's here, he's here... I would be a lovely case for a psychologist.

Let's face it - I am a mental mess right now. Cannot wait to get rid of the stupid tumor.

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Update...

I wrote a quick email to HR today...

Basically, my supervisor was mistaken - yea - big time wrong. When in the midst of a waiting period for disability - you can take that time however you want. Now, if you wanted some fantastic trip to Hawaii - then - yea, time off without PTO is a big deal.

Whew - much better. And yes, I did forward HR's email to my supervisor for her files...

Anyway - consult with the surgeon is on Sept 21.

The irony to the whole thing is that I will have the 5 days of PTO by then!!!!








Monday, August 29, 2011

Part II

So - I went to tell my supervisor the update.

The place that I work changed their short term disability in January. It used to take effect on the 6th day - and would retro pay for the first week that we were off. Now, it takes effect on the 7th calendar day - and has no retro pay. Employees are supposed to use their PTO for the five days or unpaid leave.

Now, I have not worked here very long. I was a contractor for years but not a 'true' employee. So i have ZIPPO PTO time. I did take five days in May to move Kiel to Florida and a few days at the beach. The rest of the PTO time was spent at doctor's appointments.

I work hard. I get to work at 6:30 and work until 3:15 - way beyond my required 7.75 hours. I read email in the evenings and I am on call 24x7. I take LOMA tests (which are beyond my job requirement - as it is for insurance licensing, etc). I was on a team on five in January - but due to staff shuffling - I am now on a team of three - without any workload reduction.

Anyway - my supervisor only says - well, if you have to take unpaid time - then that is a performance issue. WHAT???? She said - well, I had to take some time off for illness - and I managed my PTO. Hello - she has been there for 30 years - and probably has three months or something assanine for PTO. I should have managed my time better according to the rules. This is also something that an employee can be terminated over.

Keep in mind - I wasn't expecting anyone to pay for my non-PTO time. But I sure as crap didn't think that I might not get a raise or fired due to a tumor!!!

Chris and I have talked. I can't afford to lose my job. I will hang on to my lovely tumor until I have enough PTO to take it off officially and then schedule the surgery.

The side effects of the tumor aren't too bad. Osteoporosis, heartburn, kidney stones and dementia, headaches, depression, thinning hair (it falls out like crazy). Great.

I think it is criminal and wrong.


It might be a tumor....It's not a toomah!!!

Remember that line from Kindergarten Cop with Arnold? Well, Chris didn't - but everyone else that enjoys juvenile humor movies does...

Doc did confirm that I have a parathyroid "toomah" on the left side of my neck... Not sure when surgery is but will be going to Loyola in Chicago to have it removed... I should have a referral by this time next week.

Sometimes it is nice when then actually find things - at least I know I am not going crazy!!!!

More details to follow...

Thursday, August 4, 2011

New video....

awwww... memories

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lA_lDadGWW0&feature=player_embedded