Wow...

So....
Had a minor breakdown today...

I couldn't remember if I had used shampoo in the shower. I know - really? Shampoo? With everything going on - I break down over shampoo???

I made a decision which bothered me today - I never wimp out. I take tests for insurance licensing. I love taking tests - I love challenges - I love learning new things. Yesterday, I read for half an hour over my lunch. I could not tell you a single thing that I had read in the book today. I am an over achiever - I know that - I accept that. I paid $50 to move my test to November. I could not risk a fail. I hate spending the money on that - but if I fail - it's $110. Can't gamble on my brain right now....

And then tonite - I just started crying to poor Christopher. I can't remember things. It is driving me crazy. He is my rock. I can't imagine life without him...

My Aunt Lisa told me that my Grandmother L'Hote had this surgery - and the surgeon accidentally clipped a nerve and her mouth drooped as a result. Now, that was 30 years ago - and there have been advancements in the surgery without a doubt - but it is a risk. I know - relax - 30 years ago - but it is something that my doctor mentioned. I would rather have a droopy mouth than this memory loss problem - and it will match the boobs - so whatever!

And then, I had dreams about trying to find my dad all night. I usually don't dream about Dad - just Mom. Interesting. I kept hitting closed doors but someone kept calling - he's here, he's here... I would be a lovely case for a psychologist.

Let's face it - I am a mental mess right now. Cannot wait to get rid of the stupid tumor.