Before the animal rights activists start screaming at me - the dog is not dead - but not because I didn't want to kill her.
We have a newer dog. And - we don't like her much. Is that awful to say? I think she is mentally retarded - I really do. She doesn't know her name - she cannot understand a single command. The only word she understands is WALK. Then she goes ape-sh*t-nuts. No, I don't have a problem with the mentally retarded - just really not in the mood for a dog that is.
Anyhow, Valentine's Day quickly approaches. I had just taken my two heart shaped cake levels out of the oven and were on the rack cooling. Damn dog jumped up and ate one whole level. Just like that - gone.
Now, my other dog, Bear, is bigger and taller and not once in the three years has he jumped up on the counter. He knows better. Kieran has eaten pizza, pork chops, tator tots - you name it - she snatches it. We feed the dogs - and she eats just fine. She is just a turd.
So - the whole weekend, we have been cleaning - and I use the term "we" loosely as that would be Chris - cake piles. Luckily, she does that regurgitate sound for a good minute before anything comes up so he can get her outside in time. Not so lucky at 4am today.
I am married to a very good man.