Calendar

Spring break - yay!  Headed to Wisconsin tomorrow for quality time with the grandkids...

Chris is cooking. I am drinking wine.  As it should be.  Reviewing the calendar coming up.  Aunt Janet's memorial coming up.  So strange that she is not here.  I know that cancer takes my family - but it just seems surreal sometimes.

Chris made Chex mix for me to take to Mellisa.  Mom loved this stuff.  She always said it made her swell up like a tick.  Chris made it super salty - which requires much more wine.  God love him.

Alyx is having a rough time lately.  I feel bad for her.  She is a vocal chica and certainly doesn't let her feelings unknown.  I guess she made a girl cry after the girl rolled her eyes at her and Alyx called her out on it.  So - her friends went skating without her on Friday.  She was super upset.  Her best friend since 2nd grade was really bitchy about it.  How do we know?  ONe of the friends forwarded all of the group text messages to Alyx.  Crap.  I hate junior high drama.  I told her she would meet so many new people in high school  and will forget all of this stupid crap.  Even the boy that Chris drives home every day was in on it.  Part of me wants to tell this little turd to walk home.

Alyx is staying home with Chris this week.  She gets bored at mellisa's.  Hopefully she will have some time to do fun things with Chris.

Aunts

Mellisa is here with the kids for a little break...

I love watching Sydney with Alyx.  She thinks Alyx is the coolest thing ever.  She follows her everywhere and does whatever she does.  They were doing yoga and coloring yesterday.  Too cute.

It reminds me of my aunt Lisa.  I thought she was the coolest thing ever.  She is about ten years older than me (just like Alyx & Sydney).  I wanted to be just like her.  She had the coolest townhouse - and the dogs - and played the guitar.  

Aunts are great

Disappointing...

Friday was just a suckie day all over the place.

My party only had two of the girls from the Nashville trip - albeit my favs girls but still....  I had a whole theme with food and decor.  I took a day off to prep.  Chris told me flat out - why are you bothering???  He was right - as always...   The punch was awesome good...

And it was senior night and one of the kids that I thought I had  good relationship with picked someone else to honor as his fav...  Definitely not why I do what I do - but just disappointing...

Pity party over.

Nice weather....

Weather is mean sometimes.  Yesterday - gorgeous - same today.  I know dang well that Spring is NOT here yet.  Winter is just a giant tease.

Regardless, I felt inclined to clean windows.  I only did the first floor.  Certainly don't want to go all crazy and spring clean everywhere!

I even pooper scooped.  I might be weird - but I really don't mind it.  It is truly a brainless job.  I can let my mind wander about the craziest things and no one even notices.  People really don't sit around and watch other people pooper scoop.  It is not that entertaining.  So.  I even talk outloud to myself.  I rehearse things I might want to say to people - you know, wise wisdom.

Today I thought about my party on Friday night.  I am having the 40 birthday bash girls over.

Jen is turning 40.  So in some drunken event a couple of months ago, we thought we should go to Vegas.  Then, we saw how much it would cost!  Now, we are doing the Nashville thing.  We have a super fun house rented.  One of the girls is super splurging and hiring a chef to cook for us one night even.  I can't wait.  But - this is not happening until October.  Needless to say, we are all going to be absolutely crazy in anticipation.  We have a little message board going.  Sometimes it is about the trip but most of the time it is about completely inappropriate topics.  This is why I love these girls.

Back to Friday.  Two of the girls can't come - bummer.  I wanted to do a Tennessee theme.  Cowboy boots and bourbon.  So we shall see how that turns out.  I found a great punch that will mess us up royally.  No worries - we have drivers!!

Parenting

My parents passed at a very young age in my opinion. 50's.  So I really have little to base my 'older' age parenting skills on...

I am amazed at each of my kids.  How are all of these kids so very different?  Same mom - how did this happen???

My poor little Kiel seems miserable.  I try very hard not to interfere - let him be an adult.  All I want to do is bring him home and hug him.  Can't do it.  He has to grow and be his own person.  Sucks

Alyx worked forever on homework tonight.  Crazy.  She is such an over achiever.  Love it.  She tries so hard to do her best - and she is awesome.

My little Riley is the most mellow and so pleasant.  She shows some signs of independence - which is fascinating.  She is really coming into her own.

AJ - the one kid that has always been there for me.  So hard to be to release him to his own life.   I miss him...

And who knew Mellisa would be such a good mom??  NEVER expected that!!!

Busy Weekend

Anytime I am upset - I clean.

First, I read my book for book club - The Art of Racing in the Rain.  Very sweet story.  Cried at the end - not a boohoo cry - just a teary, content cry.  The story is told by the dog.  Interesting perspective.    I have another book on request at the library as it is checked out - A Head Full of Ghosts.  Night and day - but that's how I roll.

Photo shelf has been dusted and rearranged.  Mellisa inspired me.  She cleaned the small one for me while she was here.  Sometimes I love it when she helps - this time caused a giant guilt trip.  I took the plunge.  It looks WAAAAYYY better and I am glad she made me do it!

Cleaning....  Makes me sweat and I can't think while doing it.  Every ceiling has been de-cob webbed.  Dog slobber is off the walls.  Alyx helped me with the big project - cleaning the grease off the tops of the kitchen cabinets.  Yikes.  Chris thinks it has been three years since the last time which is probably 2 1/2 years too late!  We put waxed paper down this time.  Saw that on Pinterest.  Should help with the biceps next time!

Mental Health Day

A Friday off on top of a three day weekend is fabulous!  My plan was to sleep in - I made it until 8.  Not bad.  I was going to read our new book club book but doing laundry, dishes and have to run an errand for Riley at 11.  Maybe I can read this afternoon.

Our book for this month is The Art of Racing in the Rain.  Tera says it is going to make my cry like a baby.  Can't wait....

Friends...

One of my friends had about as great a week as I did.  So, when times get tough, the girls drink.  What a great night.  Laughter, tears, gossip...   I feel so much better...  I hope they do as well.

One thing I observed.  We put our purses on the table.  Now, if we went to dinner, purses would have been on the floor.  Or if we were in a booth, purses next to us or in the corner of one of the booths.  But at a bar, purses on a table.  No one says - put your purse on the table.  There is no instruction manual for where the purse goes in certain situations.  I find that interesting...

Well, shit

I came home today.  Early.  Got the call that Aunt Janet has passed...

Yes, I did leave completely unprofessionally and very quickly.  So - what did I do?  I pooper scooped.    There is something very humbling about picking up giant piles of dog doo.  I cried; I cursed.  I am sure the neighbors thought I was crazy but whatever.  The yard looks much better.  I look like hell.

The grand kiddos are on their way here.  I need some laughter and hugs.

It sounds like Uncle Marty might be planning an event to celebrate her life around the Derby.  Wow, she would love that!  Bourbon, a party and hats.  Yep.  She will be there - she wouldn't miss it for anything...

This blogs for you....

My Aunt Janet is dying.  There, I said it.  A couple of days left on this Earth from what I have been told.  I type in honor of her....

Aunt Janet got me into blogging.  I used to blog daily.  About life.  About the bitches at work.  About friends.  About my kids.  About the love of my life.  No judgement.  I didn't write for anyone but me. Grammar didn't count nor did spelling.  If you are reading this - get over it.  It's been a long time, but I am back.

I write today to make my Aunt Janet maybe smile and maybe she can know what a difference she made in my life.  To those who might not know me - my mom was a saint.  Yes, an absolute Saint.  She was a petite, graceful, soft spoken, God-fearing woman who never swore, gossiped or said an unkind word about anyone.  Sweetest woman ever and she devoted her life to God and her family.

Why do I bring up my mom when this is about my Aunt Janet?  Unfortunately, I am not much like my mom.  I never understood how such a beautiful woman could end up with such a loud mouthed, giant, speak her mind woman like myself.  I try to emulate her but....

My Aunt Janet helped me understand.  You see - I am my Aunt Janet.  Now - she is still way more Southern Belle than I - but I am definitely more her offspring than my mom's!

Let the rambling now begin...

My Aunt Janet taught me so much.  More than anything, she taught me that yes, maybe my mom was the perfect one but I have just as much to contribute to this world.  And I am thankful.

My Aunt Janet made a room come alive.  She was a teacher by trade, fabulous wife and mom.  She didn't teach for very long but she was always a volunteer.  I think that is why I always volunteer for everything - sometimes, too much!

When I was in school, she volunteered at Louisville's children's museum.  I went with her several times.  So much fun!  I remember an event where we dressed up and went to some big fundraising gala.  I felt grown up and important and felt like I was hobnobbing with the best.  It was great.  They had wine and fancy clothes and I want to say some music.  I might be wrong on that.  It had something to do with a gallery showing about dresses from a decade?  I don't know - I might have that totally wrong.  The point - it was awesome. One of my favorite memories ever.

When I was engaged to Mel, Aunt Janet and my cousin Ben (who passed a few years ago from the family cancer curse) decided I needed to be educated in the ways of money.  My mom and dad were the best parents ever but they weren't loaded to put in plainly.  We were a meat and potatoes kind of family - not a shrimp with cocktails crowd.  Please don't misunderstand - my parents gave me everything I ever needed and were the very best role models for love and good parenting that I could ever imagine.  But they moved in a different circle than my Louisville family.  So, I dropped out of college and moved in with Aunt Janet.  I became sort of a social experiment.  I read, I learned to entertain, learned how to manage money and how to be more social with those with affluence and cook meals that were more than mundane.  More than anything, how to fool people into believing that I was just as swanky do as they were!

Every time I make chocolate pie, I think of her...  I still can't make crust.

Then she moved.  All the way to California.  It was hard.  I liked having her around.  It was always an entertaining time when I could be around her.  Always a story - always a laugh.

I kept track of her through her blog.  She blogged daily although lately, it has been less and less.  I loved reading her rants and raves and stories.  It made me feel like I was still around her.  What a gift she has given all of us.  I will refer to those blogs whenever I miss her...

She continued volunteering.  I remember that she worked with a homeless group and would literally find mattresses.  She volunteered at an elementary school regularly.  My favorite thing that she was known for was marrying folks.  She preformed the first gay marriage in her county - and made the news.  My favorite stories were her adventures from the courthouse...

I won't even mention the weight.  We both struggle.  And it sucks.

Aunt Janet married the most wonderful man - and I searched for a man that would treat me just as wonderful as Uncle Marty treated her.  My Chris is part Uncle Marty, part PaPaw, part Dad.  And I am the luckiest person ever.

So - that is my very brief introduction to my aunt.

How does one even begin to describe how much a person has influenced a life?  She has been my guide to laughter, strength, forward thinking, acceptance.   I am not my mom.  She was just a different person than me.  I try to be my Aunt Janet every day.  Strong, free thinking, loving, volunteering, speaks her mind and loves life.   Maybe a curse word and a glass of wine or a bit of Bourbon. A true Southern Belle.

So until we meet again, I love you.  Please watch over me.  We will talk often.  I tend to talk to Mom on a daily basis.  She will probably be glad to see you.  I am way more than she can probably handle and she will appreciate the help.

I love you so much....